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Excerpt from Increase Your Chances!: The Love Guide to Finding Your Match:

Firstly, heal yourself with love by loving yourself. Self-love is the foundation from which we can love others: in order to want love, you have to know that you deserve love and to know that you deserve love, you must first love yourself. When you work on your healing, you allow yourself to be an imperfectly glorious being. This is the key to self-acceptance, which increases feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.  Of course, this also makes you a better person, and a better partner.

Because loving yourself is so important, I will provide more detail. As an African American Matchmaker and all of my years studying and working with people who have self-esteem and identity issues, I know you should love yourself by what you do, not by what you say. If you think you can fool me with your politically correct matchmaking interview answers, the real information is revealed when you tell me about your past relationships, starting with your most recent one. Even though I only get your perspective, if you are honest, I get a lot of valuable information about who you really are.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t judge you based on the information you share with me about your relationships or your experiences. Nobody has a perfect childhood, personal relationship, or perfect life. The information you share with me helps me to understand you a little better. I need to understand who you are and where you are in your life so that I can match you with a compatible partner. If you are not healthy, you will be more difficult to match in a long-term, loving relationship. When you have healthy self-esteem and love yourself, you increase your chances of meeting your match.

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