Smiling Black Couple

Excerpt from Black Girls Guide: How to Find & Choose the Right Man:

Although enslaved Africans and African Americans formed unions and had marriages (“jumping the broom”), loving someone in the context of slavery was a risk. Your love for another could easily be exploited and used against you. Therefore, during the era of slavery, loving your children, your significant other, or even your parents, became a weakness. Love made life more difficult, not only for those you loved, but for yourself. Men and women who loved hard often paid the ultimate price: torture, misery, and death.

Thus, the natural order of love was thrown off-balance. Unity, family, togetherness, and love in its most basic and pure form became less expressive and less common. To express love was to live in fear of rape, torture, forced labor and beatings. Lack of education and miseducation were other factors that contributed to the broken lives that African and African American families were forced to endure.

When children grow up with poor parenting, emotional disturbances and dysfunction, they pass it onto their children, often unknowingly. Is it no wonder that we are still suffering today?

Arguably, our historical consciousness contains these memories—those of life before, during, and after enslavement. This legacy of trauma is one that we must overcome in order to transition into a mindset that will lead us to healthier relationships. A mindset where we can aspire to be together in love: a feeling that we are born with and that comes naturally to us. This is the essence of love awareness.

Love awareness includes an understanding of the oppressive systems and illusions that often keep us separated and divided. With love awareness, our standards and expectations are elevated. Love awareness means we think in terms of abundance, not drought.

Remember: YOU make your own choices. I believe that you are reading this because you choose love over history, love over trauma and love over oppression.

Read more about LOVE AWARENESS.

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